Remember that revision is a process, moving from large, essay-level concerns to the more focused surface errors and sentence-level concerns. Since our previous revision exercises have focused on the larger issues, the suggestions below should guide you through some of the fine-tuning before submitting your final draft.
- Have you followed the guidelines of the assignment?
- Do you have a clear thesis statement that indicates the shape your essay will take?
Paragraph level:
- Are your paragraphs unified around a central idea expressed in your topic sentence? Do the paragraphs each relate to the thesis statement?
- Have you included appropriate transitions to move from one paragraph to the next? See RW p. 315 for list of transitional phrases.
Sentence level:
Sentences should be concise units of meaning. Use expressive phrases to get to the point quickly. With this goal in mind, revise or remove the following phrases when possible:
- expletive constructions – it is / there is / there are / there was / it was (see RW pp. 159, 278, 382, 388)
example: There are many ways to address this issue
improvement: The author addresses the issue with logical arguments.
- demonstrative pronouns that need nouns – this / that / these / those followed by a verb (see RW p. 370)
example: This is important because it shows the author’s use of emotional appeal.
improvement: This example effectively displays the author emotional appeals.
- phrases that are generally too broad and vague:
- in today’s society
- people today
- throughout society
- across America
- everyone knows
- it is obvious that
- unclear or non-specific pronoun references (see RW p. 212-17)
example: Statistics make it easier for you to understand the argument.
improvement: Statistics clarify the argument for the reader.
- statements that over-promote the author’s work:
- the author does a good job
- this argument could not have been written better
- interjections of your personal opinion or process:
- I think
- I believe
- I agree
- I feel
- ...after reading this novel
- the "academic double": repeated words that are merely synonyms but do not significantly differ in meaning
- unique and special
- secret and confidential
